triumphantly going where everyone and their mother has already gone before...

into the land of plenty - the magical land of netbooks!

ok, so i was late in the game in terms of getting a personal computer. actually, that's not true. i had one back when i started college but it took a massive dump in the midst of fulfilling my similarly massive dream of downloading every song ever created in the history of forever. as you can imagine, my heart was crushed. and, as it turns out, so was my hard drive. for the next eight years or so, i would beg, borrow and steal (hey! it was for like a second! and i gave it back!) my way through the tawdry world of other people's computers and other people's itunes libraries. all this effort - only to find my soul empty at the end of every day. it just didn't feel real, you know? it felt like i was pretending. which i totally was cause i didn't pay for those computers and i sure as hell did not put the entire boys II men anthology into that library, ahem, terrance. but judgements aside, i must impart gratitude to where kindness was extended. if i harassed you over the years, thank you, i love you and seriously, terrance. it's twenty ten...let it go.

and so as i prepare to step off this precipice into a sea of telecommunicative ability, i must remember that with great power comes great responsibility. i will do my best to write frequently and to contribute thoughts of a classy nature. and if i can't stick to the high brow stuff, i'll at least vow to make my posts entertaining. and if i can't actually make time to post anything, i hope you'll be comforted in the thought that it's probably because i was too busy catching up on episodes of it's always sunny on hulu. i know i'll be comforted at least.

with that, i leave you your found item of the day:

i want a valentine like this.

reason #197 why i love seattle:

because when you finally have a day off and it's perpetually cloudy and rainy outside, staying in bed, watching movies and drinking coffee is a perfectly acceptable way to spend it. whether or not watching sleepless in seattle while in fact in seattle is acceptable - well, that is an entirely different matter but i'm willing to take the risk. don't look at me like that. rosie o'donnell's role as meg ryan's sassy but suppportive friend is downright shakespearean. there i said it. 

the main reason i'm laying low on my day off is because of the debilitating pain i'm in. three months of idleness came to a crashing end this past saturday with three hours of basketball. and while i consider myself the muggsy bogues of women's street ball, my body clearly does not agree. also, i'm not that good. as a result, i can't even sneeze without my eyes watering, and laughing is quite out of the question. i've never felt so old before. if this is indicative of my life at seventy, then no thank you. i'll take a cougar cruise at sixty and be done with it.

the upside to engaging in activities far beyond my actual ability is that i'm branching out and meeting new people. after all, it seems only appropriate that i attempt to you know, actually live here. so, in addition to basketball saturdays, i will also have volunteer wednesdays at the local soup kitchen. and if i play my cards right, getting lucky fridays. what? i didn't say that. 

  with that hanging awkwardly in the air, i leave you with your found item of the day:   

damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...

ok. so i'm pretty sure gangstas don't eat delicious vegan cinnamon rolls for breakfast or go for solitary walks in the rain, practicing russian on their iphones. but some might. and to them i say, спасибо. пожалуйста не убивайте меня. which of course means, thank you. please don't kill me.

so far, twenty ten has been awesome. in addition to the kick ass morning i had, in the scant four days of this new year, i've managed to do the following: create a realistic budget for my finances, get paid and pay off some debt, sign up for a swimming pass at the community pool, write some new riffs on the piano, roll multiple yatzhees and speed read tolstoy's war and peace. ok. so the last one was a lie. but i did roll multiple yatzhees, so suck it. and i do feel pretty damn productive.

but mostly, i feel free. it occurred to me the other day while riding the bus (and attempting to ignore the vagrant that was so blatantly JUST STARING at me WHILE DRINKING RUM OPENLY), that for the first time since 2006, i don't have feelings for anyone. my heart is not aching. it does not feel crushed, it does not feel alone. it feels quite simply, fucking fantastic. seriously. i don't owe anyone a damn thing, and no one has a piece of me. this, combined with the liberties of my favorite city, makes me feel downright untouchable. i'm right back to that new year's picture of aught six, where i am alone, wearing a black shirt and blue tie, drunk and blurry, lighting a cigarette with a purple flame. i'm back to being me, back to being completely independent. and that, my friends, is what makes me gangsta.

here's hoping this year brings you that feeling too. and happy birthday, jinxy! momma loves you! here's your found item of the day:

people after my own heart.

i got them rainy day blues...

except that i totally don't. i just happen to be listening to some muddy waters and felt i had to make something up to fit in with that sceney mother fucker.

anyway, part of the reason i don't have them rainy day blues is because i have a rainy day game plan instead. well, an all weather game plan, really. for those of you paying attention, there happens to be a recurring theme in all of my blog posts; that theme being an incredibly inconvenient and soul crushing case of living below the poverty line. and so, having grown tired of the thundering rain cloud of mediocrity that is my life, i, the great selenie, being of mostly sound body and mind, have decided to go back to school. and not just any school, either. no, no, i hope to attend the ultra prestigious PIMA medical institute. what's that, you say? you've never heard of it? well, neither had i. but apparently they're good. says so on their website and as we know, websites don't lie.

ok, ok. so i did actually do some research. and i have a coworker who's a student there and she has nothing but great things to say. plus they offer lifetime job placement assistance. so i feel pretty confident in their programs, specifically the radiology program which will allow me to become an x-ray technician. yes, that's right. i wish to be an x-ray technician, or radiographer, as we in the biz call it. some of you die-hard cynics may say that i'm doing it solely because specialized x-ray techs make HELLA money. some of you silly altruists may chalk it up to my desire to help others. and you would both be right. but mostly i'm doing it because my game would exponentially increase. no one looks at a lowly CNA. but an x-ray tech! now there is someone who had the temerity and dedication to go to school for two years. two years! that's impressive stuff right there; that's almost a doctor for cryin out loud!

anyway, my interview for the program is in february (i know, what the fuck, right? i want to get started now!), and assuming i pass their admissions requirements and get some serious financial aid, it is on like donkey kong, or some other similar nintendo character, because really, why should he get all the credit? huh? HUH? ANSWER ME! so yay for being almost out of debt, only to take on a considerable amount more!

anyway, wish me luck - i will try my best to keep you posted on this endeavor. until then, enjoy your found item of the day:


huh.

man, i'm a slacker.

hello, shaun. (that was to be read in a british accent, because the word slacker automatically triggered an image of shaun from shaun of the dead. also, have been binging on bridget jones' diary and been thinking in british accent almost incessantly as a result...hmm...perhaps should not have admitted last bit.)

very well. moving on. things have been INCREDIBLY interesting in the world of the great selenie. actually, that was a big fat lie. i was lying just then. things have been pretty mudane and boring. go to work, go to bar, go to bed. that sort of thing.

that was until current santa rosans, terrance and andy showed up. i took four days off work and proceeded to show them all of my favorite landmarks, which coincidentally are bars, and then showed them all of my favorite eats, which coincidentally happen to be located inside bars. it was quite enjoyable until of course the drinking began to catch up with us, and by us i mean me. and then, of course, it all went downhill from there. i would like to point out that the blame for any drama caused falls squarely on the shoulders of the seventeen or so beers that i mysteriously consumed on that night, and NOT on my own character flaws or insecurities. who am i kidding? i'm such an ass sometimes. but good friends will love you no matter what, and lucky for me, terrance and andy still do.

all bs aside, it was great fun finally having friends to show the city off to. and i think despite my intervention-worthy behavior, there still might be a chance that andy would move up here. which would be bad ass. you know who else is bad ass? my new friend greg. he's a windsor native, but don't judge him by that. he's fantastic. and he knows how to enjoy a good old fashioned slumber party. minus the nail polish and facials. he got really touchy about that. anyway, he's a good kid and i'm stoked to know someone outside of work, not to mention, i now have a wingman for going out to meet people! life is looking up!

AND! i interviewed today for a new job, and i think it went well! it's a day care center for toddlers, and while it doesn't really pay well, they really take good care of their staff. the paid holidays, 401k plans, subsidized bus passes, and free ece classes really make up for the ten bucks an hour. i should hear back by friday - wish me luck cause i want a new job so badly and this one would be wonderful!

anyway, i think that's enough drivel for one day. i'll try to write more by the end of this week. until then, i remain, selenie in seattle.

here's your found item of the day:



this was apparently found stuck in the window of the space needle restaurant. gotta love that washington hospitality!

quite unexpected but certainly appreciated...

so as you may recall in my last blog post written almost a month ago (i know, i know), i asked the universe for the chance to meet a nice boy the old fashioned, organic way. which the universe took to mean, a drunken hook-up with my coworker at our friend's birthday party. to my amusement and pleasant surprise however, the hook-up has exited the sleazy speedway and taken a slow left onto we-don't-know-what-this-is-but-why-don't-we-just-enjoy-it drive. and so, there we shall cruise until we decide the ride is over. or more likely, until i freak out and leave him in the dust. but i'm going to try my best to not muck it up, so wish me luck.

wish me luck too, in the job finding department. it seems i failed to accurately assess the degree of crackpot insanity running rampant among the higher ranks of our administration. last week my coworker nyky was fired for not making our executive director coffee. literally. there was a memo that circulated soon after about how our executive director should be treated as a VIP and dignitary, and that all employees are now required to know how to work the coffee machine. and then yesterday, my coworker and closest friend up here, cullen, was fired with no reason given whatsoever. the e.d. simply said she had to let cullen go, and then explained the benefits package. of course, the rest of us know she fired cullen and nyky because they were vocal critics of her policies. and those of us left know that pretty soon we too are going to be called in "for a meeting". so naturally, i've been checking craigslist obsessively, and i gotta tell you folks, this recession is doing nothing for me. i mean, maybe if it cleaned up a little, put on a nice suit, gained a sense of humor...i dunno. then it might work for me. but at this point, recession, i'm out of your league.

it has gotten me to think about returning to school, which is a thought that, even as i type, makes me sick to my stomach. i mean, shouldn't four years of mind-numbing college courses on the american justice system count for something? i am kicking myself for not sticking on the nursing degree path. i coulda been rich by now, relatively speaking. i mean, i could have actually afforded top ramen and not the grocery outlet knock-off. you know it's bad when you're paying for groceries IN CHANGE AT GROCERY OUTLET!!! but enough self-pity. i'm going to stay positive and research all my options. and i'll do my best to keep you lone devoted reader posted.

until then, i remain, selena in seattle. here's your found item of the day:



this has inspired me to take glamour shots with my hamster.

disaster, thy name is internet blind date...

so, because i am new to seattle and because my last relationship was over two years ago, i figured it was time to get back on the hobby horse. lord knows, i have not had my fair share of that ride.

still, i have standards, and today, this poor boy that i met off plenty of fish, was far below them. i say boy, because despite the twenty nine years he's had on this earth to prove himself otherwise, he failed miserably. it took him 45 minutes to ask me a question. on anything. granted, i asked him a lot of questions because i could not bear the unbearably awkward silence. but that awkward silence could have been filled with him at least attempting to seem interested in getting to know me. to top it off, he repeatedly poked me in the shoulder and tugged on my pony tail in an attempt to flirt with me. like a twelve year old boy. we went into a record store where he selected albums that i should listen to. among them, korn and temple of the dog. and though that song hunger strike is catchy, it was old and annoying even when it came out in the nineties. and though the date only lasted an hour and a half, it was quite possibly one of the most painful hour and a halfs i've experienced in my lifetime. particularly when he asked me repeatedly if we were having fun, and suggested we should hang out again. no concept of social cues whatsoever!

so i did what any girl in a new city with no friends to bail her out would do: i made up an excuse that my friend was arriving from out of town and that i needed to meet her at the airport. and sure enough, i found myself boarding the 194 needlessly out to the sea-tac airport, leaving a misguided boy waving bye at the bus terminal. on the upside, i got a free tour of seattle metro style.

oh well. i've deleted my profile - i don't think internet dating is for me. i don't understand why it's so hard to just meet normal guys, but apparently it is. so i'm putting it out there in the universe now - i'm ready to meet a nice, normal, well-adjusted guy the good old fashioned organic way. or i'll just stalk the guard at the library for a while. that'll work too.

no time for a found item, but until the next time, i bid you adieu and happy love travels.