she's the best! definitely a success!
also to be filed under success: a virtual hangout with my some of my dearest friends, terrance and tracy. a certain mayonegg was supposed to be in on the chat but she napped her way through it which was both impressive and irritating because bruh, we only been planning it for weeks. and when i say we, i mean terrance cause he did all the leg work and good thing he did because it's a pandemic and i ain't trying to be social, even if it's good for me. it was actually quite a lovely reunion of people i've lived with at some point over the last 17 years. and if you had told me 17 years ago that half of us would have kids or own homes or resemble something like adults, i woulda told you to shut up and pour another shot. but yet, here we are, exhausted and requesting more coffee please. terrance has a six year old daughter as well and it was comforting to know that the slovenly approach to household chores and teenage-level surliness are normal for that age. unpleasant, but normal. home life, with offspring or no, is grueling and we all took a moment to daydream about living alone. some of us lingered there longer than others. some of us may still be dreaming about it. the quiet. the cleanliness. the autonomy. the calm. *car screeches as i drive off*
just kidding. i wouldn't do that, even if the impluse is there sometimes. kids are cataclysmic but definitely worth it. watching abby's brain work is such an exquisite treat. the way she can piece some concepts together (santa's not real) while completely failing to grasp others (monsters are real) is just fascinating. witnessing her emotional lability is at once heart-wrenching and triggering. it has forced me to grow in ways i wasn't prepared for but i am trying. loving her is a fearful thing and i feel much too exposed most of the time; get back in my chest where you belong, child! but in typical fashion, she continues to disobey me. also, she's left her toys out again and nothing will sap adulation and goodwill faster than stepping barefoot on a lego. gat dammit, child! go to bed! sigh. she lucky she cute.
with that i leave you your found item of the day:
